I always envisioned Paris as the epitome of romance. While I dreamed of going to Paris with a partner one day, I decided to book a solo trip to Paris since I was traveling around Europe. That is, until I met someone just days before my Paris trip, who decided to join me. It felt surreal. This has to be where all the stars align, where love bursts in all its glory, and where I FINALLY fall in love, right? I mean, it’s Paris the city of love, after all.

The Beginning

I was staying in Lisbon, Portugal for a few months and decided to go out dancing one night. As a salsa/bachata dancer, I was looking forward to checking out the dance scene in Lisbon.

As soon as we arrived, I immediately notice an attractive man walk in. It’s very rare I find someone attractive, so my eyes followed him a bit as he walked through the dance floor. He was wearing a fedora hat, red shirt, jeans and nice shoes. I thought to myself, “who is this man and is he a good dancer?”. Needless to say, I wanted to dance with him.

The Encounter

Later that night, I spot him again. Hoping he’d ask me to dance, I put myself in his orbit, but to no avail. I realize he’s not asking anyone to dance. In salsa and bachata, it’s traditional for a man to ask a woman to dance first. While women can ask, it’s less common. I turn to my friend, telling her how I’d like to dance with him. She says, “just ask him, who cares, we’re in Portugal”. She’s right. I might not ever see this guy again. So I approach him and ask him to dance.

Since I don’t speak Portuguese, I ask him in Spanish, “quieres bailar?”, which means “would you like to dance?”. I found I could get by in Portugal by speaking Spanish and most Portuguese understood me. We dance and I thought that would be the end of our encounter.

After the dance, he initiates conversation and we talk for a few minutes. He asks me if I live in Portugal and I tell him I’m traveling and only in Lisbon for another few weeks. He tells me he is Portuguese, but now lives in Switzerland. In my head I was thinking, “of course he lives in Switzerland!”. He asks me for my number and we exchange contact information.

The Date

We messaged back and forth and he asked me out on a date. I was excited and of course said yes. We agree to meet up the next night at Time Out Market, a popular food hall in Lisbon, as he was flying back to Switzerland the following morning.

As I step out of the Uber, I immediately see him waiting outside. I can’t help but notice how attractive he is. We decide on having Thai food and the conversation was great, filled with playful banter. After dinner we go to a lounge where we continued our conversation. Afterwards we walked through the streets of Chiado, eventually settling on a bench in the main square, where we talked for hours. At the end of the night, he leaned in for a kiss. It felt magical. I’m in Europe, in the middle of a beautiful square in Lisbon Portugal. Can it get any more romantic than this?

We talk about what this could mean since we live so far away. He suggests we give it a try, long distance to start. I was all in. If it’s the right person, I’m willing to try. We talk about when we might see each other again since he is leaving to Switzerland in the morning. I tell him I will be visiting Paris in a few days and ask him to join me. He agrees. At that point I really felt like my life was a movie. This cannot be real.

The days leading up to my trip to Paris, I was so excited. As an American, I always thought of Paris as a romantic city and I couldn’t believe I was going to live out this experience.

The Ending in Paris

We meet in Paris, and I could immediately tell something was off when he arrived. He was distant. At dinner, it became evident that he wasn’t making an effort to engage in conversation or get to know me further. I couldn’t help but think “what happened?”

The next day we had a day planned to walk around Paris and visit the Eiffel tower. I thought to myself, this is where things will turn around for sure. I mean, we’ll be at the Eiffel tower right? If there was ever a place that can turn things around in a romantic sense, it’s the Eiffel tower in Paris. Nothing. He stood there taking pictures of himself and of the Eiffel tower. I can’t make this up. He didn’t even try to get close to me. Nothing made sense.

During dinner, I decided to confront him. He opens up and tells me he’s been thinking things through and doesn’t want to start something long distance. I sighed and looked out the window of the restaurant as people walked in the Parisian streets. I was so disappointed. At the very least I thought we could have been in the moment and enjoyed this weekend in Paris together. But I could tell he was in his head and made up his mind.

After he left to Switzerland, I stayed in my hotel room and called my friend in Portugal who was eager to hear all of the details of my “romantic” weekend in Paris. I cried on the phone with my friend. My first trip to Paris was so disappointing.

Paris the city of love, or is it?

In the end, is Paris the city of love? I thought if love can happen in any city, it would be Paris. It wasn’t the case after all. At the end of the day, it’s just a city and a city can never make love happen on its own. Regardless, I have to remind myself to stay open, no matter if my heart is broken along the way. Every experience is put into our lives for a reason, for a lesson. A lesson to prepare us for the things we ultimately want and the things that are meant for us. Stay open. Here’s to love.